Book Review: Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time

Before I launch into my review, you should know that I have a deep personal interest in work-life balance and a professional interest in work-life policy. I think that makes me both an overly biased and skeptical reviewer. I read an excerpt of Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte in a magazine a few months after having a baby, and as I thought about my reentry to work, this seemed like the perfect tome to inspire finding and making time for the components of my life.

I really liked this book.

I also learned a few things about time management and living a full life:

1. We all approach balance differently. It is okay to mix family with work and work with family. It is also okay to create boundaries between work and home. There is no right or wrong way if it is working for you. In previous jobs, I never wanted to mix work with home. I disdained working at home and didn't check email on my cell phone. At my current job, I do check email from my cell phone. And despite my previous objections, a day working from home allows me to spend two additional hours with my daughter, as it eliminates my commute to work. Those two hours make a world of difference.

2. A true partner--whatever that might mean in your family--is essential. My partner is my husband, but Schulte writes of the importance alloparents in sharing childcare responsibilities. Whether you look to a parents, friends or paid caregivers, a mom doesn't have to do all of the child rearing, and for that matter, cooking, cleaning, life planning, etc. My husband and I never approached housework and childcare with traditional gender roles in mind. He likes to cook, so he does most of the cooking (the alternative would be eating a lot of salads). I like to bake, so I make sure that our freezer is always stocked with cookies and other baked goods. He works fewer hours and is usually home one day a week, so he does laundry while many of our neighbors are at work and the machines are empty. I fold the laundry and put our daughter's clothes away. While reading the section of Overwhelmed about love, I felt incredibly lucky to have a husband who shares in housework and childcare.

3. Embrace flexibility in the workplace. I already knew this one, but Schulte reinforced how important it is to value productivity over face time. There is no need to be the ideal worker who arrives to work early each day and frequently stays late. Since having my daughter, I make every effort to leave my office at 5:00 pm unless there is a meeting or program that requires my presence. If there is more work to be done, I can do it at home after she goes to sleep (see #1). Schulte presented case study after case study about how workplaces have allowed for unique schedules, and in one example, children at work. Each employer needs to determine how best to integrate flexible policies (for example, a receptionist or a barista cannot work remotely), but I know that this is a value for me at any place I seek employment.

4. Use your vacation time. This seems fairly simple, except for the fact that many Americans don't use all of their vacation time (myself included). Americans may be the most productive workers, but that is only because we work more hours!

5. Denmark seems like a pretty cool place to live in terms of not being overwhelmed. I'll let you read the book to better understand this one, but Schulte makes life in Denmark so appealing that she ends her chapter on Denmark with a few paragraphs of why the country is indeed not perfect.

Balance has always been important to me, but it has taken on a new meaning since I have had a child. If I work late, she will not see me until the next morning. My job often requires that I work late, so I as look forward to the fall when my evening work responsibilities increase, the seesaw of work and family will inevitably tilt toward work. But I guess that is the thing with maintaining balance: sometimes the seesaw tips. My goal as I venture further into the world of motherhood is to lean in to the tips on both the work and the family sides but to make sure that the seesaw never lands in one position for too long.