My Post-Baby Body

A few days ago, I was riding the train home, and a woman made eye contact with me and offered me the empty seat beside her. Naive as I am, I thought she was simply being nice and notifying me, a standing passenger after a long day of work, about the two empty seats on her bench. As I was about to sit down, two other people went to sit down in those empty seats, and the seat-offering woman pointed at me and said, "She's pregnant."

Mortified for just a moment, I replied, "I'm not," and pushed my way to the other side of the train car. A few minutes later, my initial shock waned, and instead of my curt reply, I wish  had said, "I was five months ago, but thank you for your support of postpartum women and their bodies."

Most days, I am just fine with my post-baby body. In fact, I thought  looked quite nice in the dress the woman had mistaken for maternity wear. I don't weigh myself often, but if I had to guess, I would say that I am within five pounds of my pre-baby weight. I have a few pairs of pants that don't fit, and my chest hasn't yet resumed its pre-pregnancy proportions, but other than that, I feel pretty good about the way I look. Like many women I know, I have days where I feel fat and nothing seems to look good--but those days have nothing to do with having a baby five months ago.

Pregnancy and birth allowed me to appreciate my body in a whole new way. I grew a human and somehow got her out. What is more amazing than that! And even though, many of pre-pregnancy clothes do fit, my body is not he same. I am truly okay with that. My daughter is worth every stretch mark and varicose vein that it took to grow her.

A few years ago, a woman in my workplace congratulated me on being pregnant. As with the other day, I wasn't, and I didn't think the dress I was wearing gave the impression that I was with child (as someone who owns her fair share of empire waist and blousey shirts and dresses, I do own clothing that could be mistaken for maternity wear). But, a few years go, I was bothered by the comment, and not just in the moment as with the comment on the train. So, thank you pregnancy and birth. You've given me a new sort of confidence. I feel more internally confident because I have experienced what the human body is capable of. While externally, I would like to lose a few pounds and firm up, internally I know that even if I don't, my body can do great things. For her sake, I hope the woman on the train (who in my opinion should have learned this years ago) learns the all important lesson of never assuming a woman is pregnant. (Note to mass transit commuters: this does not mean you shouldn't give up your seat to a woman you suspect is pregnant. Just don't ask her when she is due!)