Everything I Thought I Would Blog About. . .

Way back when I decided that this blog would no longer be dedicated to salad but to mommying, I had a plan for all of the posts I would write. I was journaling at the time. . . a lot. . . and I thought that blogging would give me another, possibly more constructive, outlet for sharing my feelings. Boy, did I have a lot of feelings. The sheer volume of journal entries makes clear my emotional state for the first few months after my daughter's birth. I am thankful that my emotions were a case of overwhelm, lack of control and anxiety and nothing more serious. But, only looking back, do I realize how not myself I felt at the time.

Which brings me back to the topic at hand: all the things I wanted to write about on this blog but haven't. One of those things was emotions. Perhaps one day, I will go back and write these missing posts, but for now, I want to move forward. It is a new Jewish year after all. (Hello, 5775!)

In the meantime, here is an annotated list of potential and mostly unwritten blogs in alphabetical order (see, I'm regaining that control).

Advice
When you are pregnant or have a new baby there is a lot of advice, some of it helpful and some of it not. I strive to be a sieve, keeping the helpful advice and letting the not-so-helpful stuff strain right through. My big take away: every pregnancy/birth/mom/baby is different so what worked for another might work for you, but it also might not. That's okay. People share advice because they are kind and want to help.

Baby Products
Speaking of advice, this is one area where advice proves to be helpful. A coworker suggested we buy the Fisher Price Rock 'n' Play. This low cost, light weight sleeper takes up little space in a New York City apartment, travels well and is a great alternative to a bassinet. When we moved our daughter into her crib, we used the Rock 'n' Play as a place to put her down while we ate or for naps in the living room.

Now that we are past the newborn stage, I realize that products I recommend most are for newborns. Here are a few products we loved: Summer Infant SwaddleMe; Chux and snap shirts.

Wearing a SwaddleMe in the Rock 'n' Play

This is supposed to be an annotated list, so I won't go into too much detail about the above products. In one sentence for each product: flailing arms and crazy reflexes startled our baby from sleep, and the Velcro on the swaddles allowed us to keep her arms down and the baby peacefully asleep (later we used the Halo SleepSack Swaddle when she regularly broke out of the SwaddleMes). Chux are wee wee pads for humans and saved us many loads of laundry--on top of the changing table, when we need to change a diaper out of the house, for projectile spit up. While I didn't give birth to a particularly delicate baby, these shirts made dressing and undressing a newborn with a healing belly button much easier. Seth and I (but mostly Seth) made an amazing spreadsheet newborn shopping list that informed our registry and purchases. Perhaps one day I will share it in full here.

Baby Wearing
That last topic was hardly annotated, so let's see if I can do better. I love wearing my baby. Whether shopping in the crowded aisles of New York City grocery stores or taking the subway, it is simply more convenient not to be pushing a stroller. We were fortunate to inherit, borrow and be gifted four different baby-wearers (is that a real word?). The Ergo and Moby Wrap worked best for us. Seth and I wear the Ergo outside of the house, and I wore the Moby inside (I stopped using it after my maternity leave).

Birth Story
When I was pregnant and home with a newborn, I loved reading birth stories and was sure I would share mine here. Now, I'm not sure. Perhaps I will one day. Birth is a fascinating and amazing experience, and I found it empowering (and yes, painful--oh, the contractions).

Breastfeeding 
Remember those emotions I described in the beginning of the post. I estimate that 95% came from anxiety related to breastfeeding. I'm not ready to write a full post, but breastfeeding did not come naturally to my daughter and me, and as someone who creates a plan and sticks to it, my expectations were not managed for this one. I do want to share my experience here one day.

Doula
A doula is a birth coach, and my doula was a key part of my birth story. I am so grateful we invested in this service. If I do share my birth story, Karla, my doula, will figure prominently.

Exercise
I started running regularly 10 years ago, and I ran up until mid-way through my first trimester when the nausea set in. I did not exercise as much as I thought I would during my pregnancy, but six weeks after birth, I was back on the treadmill walking and then running. I was surprised that I was able to pick up running just seven or eight weeks after having a baby, especially after slowing down during my pregnancy. I have to assume my pre-pregnancy runs were to thank for this.

Failure
At one of the happiest times in my life--I gave birth to a healthy baby girl--I also experienced professional and personal failure. I've moved on from some of these failures, but I am still struggling with others. It is fascinating how one can be so happy and yet so sad.

Hormones: Highs and Lows
Which gets us to hormones. From the oxytocin that immediately bonded me to my daughter to the hormones that made me cry or act irrationally, pregnancy and birth really did a number on my endocrine system.

Journaling
Which is why I journaled. I have journaled on and off throughout my life. Often, the little notebooks come out at liminal times, times of transition and newness. My postpartum journal is an important outlet for the emotions triggered by the aforementioned hormones. One day, I hope to give my baby journals (yes, I'm on number three) to my daughter, so she can read about the highs (her morning smiles) and lows (returning to work) of my parenting experience. Sometimes her dad pops in for a guest post. My writing has slowed down to about once every week or two now that I am back at work, but I plan to continue writing about her milestones and experiences through the rest of her first year.

Maternity Leave
This could be a whole other post on work-life policy as I think paid parental leave is an essential benefit. But, what I intended to blog about are my lessons from how I spent my maternity leave. My biggest takeaway is that I spent the first part of my maternity leave too connected to work. Smart phones make it much to easy to check email while feeding and rocking and doing other baby care tasks that allow for one free hand. With about one month left of my leave, I finally disconnected. It was great. If there is a next time around, I hope to strike a balance between occasional check-ins with work and long periods of disconnect in between.

Natural Birth
I've never understood why a drug-free birth is called natural. All birth is natural whether it is a c-section, an epidural or no drugs at all. Birth is an incredible achievement how ever it happens.

Post-Baby Body
I wrote this one!

Pregnancy
I feel like I should write about those 40 weeks (exactly!) that got me to motherhood. It was a healthy pregnancy, and I worked on the day I went into labor. Perhaps this will be a future post.

Prepping for Pregnancy and Birth
I wrote this one, too!

Returning to Work
This was hard. I so value being employed, but leaving my daughter was really hard. It was another one of those parenting things I just couldn't prepare for.

What Not to Say to a New Mom
I wrote this one, three!